Week 68 (and an announcement)
I hadn’t take an image but immediately, and Jerry and I have been engaged on the lavatory, so he took this one for my submit. At present is his birthday, by the way in which! He is 42.
I do not even know the place to start out with this submit! I have been going forwards and backwards in my head about it for a number of weeks now, and immediately I made a decision it is time. (I am really not attempting to make this sound like a drumroll or one thing…)
As I’ve talked about manner too typically, I have been tremendous overwhelmed recently. It is one factor after one other after one other that has been going improper and/or stressing me out. I lastly really feel like I’ve reached a breaking level. I preserve considering that I want I might simply fall asleep and get up a yr later.
I really like writing lists (I significantly have notebooks filled with lists of all types) and immediately I wrote out a full “to-do” listing of the issues that I’ve to get performed in a comparatively well timed method. It took up two full sheets of pocket book paper! I really feel like I am drowning and I am by no means going to atone for every thing. I’ve felt so intensely overwhelmed that it is affecting my well being.
I like to make use of the phrase overwhelmed as an alternative of “burdened” as a result of it feels extra relevant on this state of affairs. I have never been capable of sleep (nothing new there, but it surely’s gotten worse), I have been crying daily–and for as soon as, it is not from being unhappy or depressed–just exhausted, I have been snapping at my household for no cause, and I’ve even misplaced my urge for food.
I’ve by no means, in my life, felt fearful about shedding an excessive amount of weight. I’ve definitely by no means tried to achieve weight. This week, I added some high-calorie meals to my diet–like including a giant scoop of peanut butter to my oatmeal, or marinating tofu with oil, including tortilla chips to black bean soup, and many others.
However I am nonetheless losing a few pounds. At present? I used to be really within the 120s:
I by no means ever thought I might see the 120s once more! My lowest weight was 121, however that is after I was coaching so exhausting for my objective 10K race. I want I might be enthusiastic about it hitting the 120s (and I assume I’m in a manner), however I do know that it is due to feeling so overwhelmed that I am not consuming sufficient. Final week, I used to be at 132.4, so I misplaced over three kilos this week. On the weight I’m now, three kilos is a LOT to lose in every week; I’ve misplaced about 10 kilos in a month. If I wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed, I might be fairly thrilled!
Nevertheless, my garments are all too massive and I do not need to purchase smaller ones as a result of I really feel like I will acquire some weight when my to-do listing will get smaller. However who is aware of? Possibly it is simply the vegan eating regimen that’s making me proceed to drop a few pounds.
Anyway, as for my announcement: I’ve decided immediately that makes me really feel slightly nervous about, however like I stated, I have been debating it for a number of weeks now: I’ll take a full week off of running a blog. I have to remove as many issues on my listing as I can, and since my weblog is not fully mandatory, I really feel prefer it’s an excellent begin.
Since I have been on a running a blog streak for almost three years now of running a blog every single day, I actually do not need to break that streak. So, I made a decision to only submit a photograph a day–no phrases, only a image. I will name the posts “Wordless Week: Day 1”, and many others., so you possibly can skip over them for those who’re not .
Despite the fact that it might seem to be a weblog submit would not take a lot time, I overthink every thing and make it take for much longer than it in all probability ought to. I might like to make use of each second I’ve to work on knocking issues off of my to-do listing (together with catching up on my e mail, so for those who’ve written me up to now six months or so, I in all probability nonetheless have not responded–and I am SO sorry).
At my remedy session yesterday, we talked about how I do not wish to ask for help–ever. I all the time really feel unhealthy asking folks for assist with issues and that is a part of the explanation I really feel overwhelmed. It is one thing I have to work on.
I hate to start out my week off from running a blog with a submit like this, however my Wednesday Weigh-In posts are my hottest ones, so I figured I might attain the most individuals. I will be again to regular (properly, my posts will in any case!) subsequent Wednesday.
Till then, I will share an image every day that may hopefully be considerably fascinating (maybe one thing on my listing that I have been engaged on).
Thanks for understanding, Pals! xoxo